“Never sink”, by Marie de Brauer: a comic strip that never stops

In the graphic novel did not sink, journalist Marie de Brauer recounts her journey in the battle against the dictates of thinness, to love herself and her 113kg. An intimate and militant story accompanied by Lucymacaroni’s soft and colorful illustrations.

“I want long fake nails, very perfumed, pink. I am funny, charismatic. And I’m fat. » The tone is set: with did not sink (Leduc Graphic), the reader knows he has a heartfelt biography in his hands. With humor and color, this story nevertheless addresses what hurts about being fat: not the weight, but the stares and judgments of others, long internalized.“Being a woman, old, fat, is my worst nightmareconfides Marie de Brauer. I am 27, and I have become my worst nightmare. »

All your grossophobes?

Beyond self-acceptance, journalist Marie de Brauer also recounted how she turned her fight into grossophobia. Because, from medical abuse to the internalization of the detestation of body fat, through a cruel lack of representation of fat people, fatphobic attacks are redundant and repeated. And Marie de Brauer was not spared, marked from her beginning by the stigmatization of her size. Like the classical dance teacher who judges her kicks to the level of a prima ballerina… except that “to be a little mouse, you have to be a little thin”.

©Leduc Graphic/Lucymacaroni

Both in private and public places, the author recounts ordinary grossophobia: this form of discrimination, listed in the dictionary since 2019, refers to all attacks, whether conscious or not, against people big Result: the age of the first diet is 8 years old! “Fatphobia is a global system that hates fat peopleobservation of the author; this leads to inappropriate comments to a loved one or even doctors who directly equate size with obesity, with a disease. »

For Marie, this caused her to censor herself every day – like deciding not to sit on public transport for fear of “takes up too much space”. This internalized grossophobia also pollutes her relationship with others, with sexuality… But this “complexity” is unavoidable for Marie de Brauer.

Beyond the norm

In a society where thinness is the social norm, Marie decides to accept responsibility for her fatness, to stop being ashamed of it and to stop being parasitic through orders of all kinds (“lose weight “, “get 36 “, ” be thin”). Activism, feminism and psychotherapy allowed her to realize that the problem did not come from her, but from society and its heavy standards. “I was lucky to discover at an early age what fatphobia is”, said the author.

©Leduc Graphic/Lucymacaroni

valid, did not sink above all a story of self-acceptance. The journalist tells how he managed, not without difficulty, to change the way he saw himself. This embodied narrative format, she has also made it her specialty. He’s in 2020, he’s making a documentary Mary’s Fat Lifewhere he mixes personal stories, meetings with other fat people and professionals.

In graphic format, he prefers to show himself. “During the writing of the comic strip, surrendering myself, revealing my intimacy, came easier to me. Whereas in the video, I instinctively put on the mask of the funny girl who needs to entertain people. There, it is another way of approaching this subject, more intimate “, he explained. The doubts, the emotional difficulties, but also the joy of living, the determination and finally the claim: Marie tells the story of her life, without ever being shameless.

did not sinkby Marie de Brauer, Leduc Graphic, 2023.©Leduc Graphic/Lucymacaroni

The soft and inclusive drawing of Lucymacaroni, a committed designer, aware of the issue of diversity and the commands made to women (she also draws The man on the pill in 2022, ed. Marabulles) is at the service of Marie de Brauer’s text in perfect harmony. This graphic testimony is more affecting: it is inspiring and liberating.

did not sink by Marie de Brauer (text) and Lucymacaroni (drawing), Leduc Graphic, 109 p., €19.90. In bookstores from January 18, 2023.

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